The mask of a name

If you have a blogging or a social account which goes by a name which is different from your original name, you might understand this. I chose my blogging name KG because of the reason posted here. When I had started blogging in 2008 and when times for me were emotionally very rough, I wanted to go by a different name, so that a few things which I let out of my confused brain doesn’t go against me in any way, mostly legally actually. I also do not want to reveal any names in my posts and put anyone in any sort of difficult position. That is why I had to choose a different name. But then when things got sorted out almost 4-5 years later, I found that I still didn’t want to change and I sort of liked the anonymity, actually a limited anonymity (because some of my friends know the name I go with for my blogs), and the freedom it gave me. I think I used the mask in a very literal sense and in accordance with the definition in the dictionary. i.e. an activity that tries to conceal something, except that the only thing I had to conceal was my real name.

It was like being in a masquerade and engaging in a small world, where people don’t judge you by your looks or your past. It helped me to let up and write about a lot of things which I never speak out. It was very very liberating. After joining WP, I have gained a little more confidence and have made a few acquaintances. I still don’t reveal any names , just relationships. Even my friends who do comment make sure to not name me even by mistake , of which I am very grateful. Till now, I haven’t had any reason to email from the email account which I use for the blogs. But in the recent times, when I did participate in a few blogging projects, I have had to email fellow bloggers. That is when I first encountered my first trouble. I always sign my emails with my original name. It has been so, since , well since I started using emails way back in 1997. I am not a person who will read an email once it is written. I don’t have that habit. But when I wrote my first email from my blogging account, I was a little nervous and after writing it, I verified it just to make sure of the contents and there it was , my original name staring at me. And the sender email account’s name is a different one. I was a little confused. I wasn’t sure if I should use the full name or just the initials. That was when I decided to add a signature to my emails so that I don’t have to think about it every time I wrote one and I configured one too.

That solved the problem when I am using the specific account. Recently when I used my iPad which has both the accounts configured, it doesn’t somehow attach the signature. And I have to add it manually. That is a tiring and time consuming process, because I have to be conscious of my name change every time I reply 🙂

This got me thinking. How different is this person from the real one? Do I have to still go with the blogging name? What is stopping me from using my real name.  Not many people will know me even if I use my real name. The answer is , even though the person behind the mask of the blogging name is the same as the real one, the mask does add an element of mystery, if not for anyone, at least for me, prowling this blog-sphere. If have to quote from ‘V for Vendetta‘

V: May I inquire as to how you have avoided detection?

Evey Hammond: A fake ID works better than a Guy Fawkes mask.

Does that make me a fake person? No, just a person who wants not to be noticed for her face in the real world, but to be noticed for the person who is behind both the faces.

I just need some getting used to this masked name 🙂

“Masked, I advance.”
― René Descartes