Where is my memo?

What is wrong with the animals and birds in or around my apartment ? Did they get any memo saying my home is also a refuge for them ? Why did not get that memo ? Hello!!! I am the house owner dears. You could at least just check in with me before you have a meeting among yourselves and decide on it. I have been nothing but kind to you all and all I get in turn is an invasion from you people. Not fair, I tell you. There ought to be some human-animal/bird code to be worked out here. First you, the adamant pigeon, you just come in and take over my balcony when I was out of station for some time and you build a home. I come back one day to find a nest with 3 eggs in it and you standing guard by it , giving me a look as to dare me to try and take it out of there. You know I wouldn’t do such thing even in my dreams. So I let you own that balcony and shifted my clothes hanger to the other one until all your kids grew up and were able to fly away. I agree to the fact that I found you people very amazing. I thought you all will be very greyish in color right from the birth. But your kids were white and then turned brown before they turned grey. You wouldn’t let me come in with my camera and the view from my other balcony doesn’t cover the kids to photograph. And thank you for not cleaning my balcony when you left my home. My maid had a fit when we both tried to clean it up. And not because we were getting it ready for your next family outing. There is something called family planning among humans. You should try it to. I have had to chase you thrice after that when you were thinking that my balcony is your nesting place. I wouldn’t mind, but with my allergies, it was getting too difficult to breath sometimes with all that feathers flying around. Especially when you are nesting and with the kids walking very close to my bedrooms. I am really sorry but you should try out other houses as well or the terrace. That is a big wide free space out there for you. Why on Earth don’t you go there ? I still see you strutting in my balcony as if you are entitled to it.

And you, Mr New Comer Cat. I knew you were trouble when I saw you first time sitting on the shoe rack (not mine) next to my apartment door. You were all tucked up with that door mat on that and sort of made it your sleeping place. All that is fine. I am OK with it. My neighbor is someone I don’t mind you taking advantage of. He is not a nice man anyways. And well, he wasn’t there then was he. But where did you come from in the first place and why my floor ? Every time I come back from office at night you were there trying to run from your place till I close my door. And then I find you sitting on my door mat and sleeping. When did you actually shift places ? Is my door mat much cozier than his ? More warm? What was it? And day before yesterday I was just about to sleep , after so much struggling to really get into it, and there it was a constant banging on my door. I was wondering who would that be at 11 pm doing that soft knocking and I had a grilled gate before the door. Now the grill was also rattling. We have security in place and so I don’t think anyone would have come past them. Even then there is a switch for ringing the bell. It didn’t sound like anyone trying to wake me up. And I didn’t find anyone when I looked from my keyhole. And when I opened the door. There you were trying to get back outside and as soon as the door opened you got that extra gap to make that perfect jump through my grill and go outside. What the hell were you thinking coming inside that grill through that small space and why do you want to be there between my grill and door. There is nothing but small space there. Can’t you find any space for you to play or sleep in this big building at all ? You gave me a heart attack for a few seconds there jumping like that in the dark. And I thought you learnt your lesson from getting stuck. Apparently not. That is why you are still an animal. Today when I opened the door for my mail, there you were sitting (or were you sleeping) between my grill and door and as soon as you saw me you jumped right out ( even though I had my door half open….stupid animals) through the grill and went on your way. Gave a shock to my maid today, you did. She didn’t believe me when I told her about the other day. Now she knows. What is wrong with you people. Why me? Why my home ? This apartment has so many other houses and so much of empty spaces every where. What is it that makes you feel I wouldn’t bother with you people here. Next time, include me in your meetings. I really need an explanation.

13 thoughts on “Where is my memo?

      1. When I lived on a compound in Saudi, I had all sorts of critters hanging around my place. Some of them pretty darn creepy crawly.

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        1. OK.. Now I am just praying that I don’t have creatures crawling into my apartment. I ain’t afraid of them, but definitely wouldn’t want them to co-habitat with me. I have enough lizards already.

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            1. Oh My God… You seriously did not say that. I don’t mind them (at least am not like my friend who would run away from her home if she sees one lizard lurking anywhere in her house), but I don’t want an image of those eating anything and I can never love them. Nope…

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              1. Poor lizards. I’m not wishing a monitor lizard of 4 foot long shows up at your house, but the little ones are pretty cute.

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