(PS: a post for a close friend, who is migrating to another country.)
You knew that this post was coming anyways 🙂 (and yes it’s a little long than my usual). Except that it got delayed for a while. But I am really glad at the delay because honestly I never knew what I was gonna say that I haven’t said before. May be not all of them were with words, but I know you can be a little slow reading the signs until we really break it down for you (and this has nothing to do with Charades 😉 )
I am no good with grammar/appropriate words, as you already know, and I do really hope you ignore the mistakes and get the point (when I actually do get to the point). I am not sure if you have heard the saying/poem/whatever-it-is about how people come into your life either for a reason, season or lifetime. I believe in it. Very strongly. Because I have had people like that in my life.
I don’t remember much of the first meetings or how I got to know someone etc etc.. But I do remember one thing though. I remember how surprised you were when I did crack a joke (or at least that is what you thought it was) and you were like ‘you can crack a joke? really ? I don’t think anyone here at office knows that you can !!!’ True that I got to know know you through my very close friend because she was your very close friend, but still didn’t get to know you any better, considering how I was or who I was back then. But I know one thing for sure. You were the one of the very few people I was comfortable with right from the start. And that is saying something for me. I am a slightly different person now, but back then that did really mean something to me.
Now that I am writing it I remember one other incident. It was when you told me the reason you wanted to move to another country. I thought you were stupid to take that decision. I thought that you shouldn’t be leaving a country just because you can’t be who you are here but then I wasn’t aware of the laws out here on that aspect. When I did know about it (through your blog of course) I felt like moving out of the country too. Trust me, I am OK with bias, I am not OK with unfair behavior.
Again, I don’t remember when or how it happened, but you did convince me to join Zumba and for that I would be ever grateful to you. It was like my calling. I knew I love dancing but within the four walls of my room. Not even my family members know about that part of me. I never thought I would be able to pull it off and now, I freaking love it. It has made me a little more confident of myself, of what I love to do, to shed my inihibitions. I don’t think the person I was almost 5-6 years ago would have had danced like that in any Zumba event outside of the gym or her home like I did and have so much fun at it too. And the whole credit goes to you , even though sometimes you are too damn persistent for my own good (remember that incident when you told me that you would be waiting outside the office looking like an ….. just to make me come to the workout….yeah 🙄 ).
Now comes the travel. If not for you suggesting and including me in the varuthapadaada-vaalibar-sangham (enjoying-their-life-singles) group for that European tour I don’t think I would have started the travel on my own in 2013. I know you all ditched me for your own personal reasons, but then it made me want to travel on my own for the very first time and that travel changed a lot of my perspectives. And I am glad I did skip Spain that year and really really glad that you did keep your promise and we did get to do it in 2014 (last year). It was indeed a very wonderful and amazing trip (and I have my special personal memories of that tour 😉 ) Oh God! there is so much to write now…where do I stop ? But it will be very unfair if I don’t mention that Goa Trip, yes, the trip where I broke my ankle and you all were so so kind and considerate to me. Everytime I think of the way I was taken care by all three of you, I do get tears in my eyes, every.single.time. Thank you all for that so so much. I owe you all for a lifetime just for that incident. You people may not think much of it, but for a person like me, it was an eye opener in many ways. And I ain’t going to explain about that now. This post isn’t about that.
I know I haven’t said in explicit terms how nice a person you are and all, but then you already know it. You know you are a level-headed person who doesn’t get all that high-praise get into your head, even though you like hearing about them A LOT 🙂 I really did mean it when I said in my travel posts that you can really organize anything very well and that you have a very good chance at being a travel agent if you want to take it as a side job, but now I add one caveat to it. You really need to not blame yourself up if things don’t go according to your plan too. ( And also to not blame others too 😉 ) Trust me, for a person who did plan each and every small thing in her life, I know how it feels when things don’t go according to your plan. But then sometimes that is when you actually find something new and worthy. And you know what happens when all plans get shot and you find something ‘OUT OF THE BLUE’ (reference: the slogan on ‘someone’s’ T-Shirt) literally spoiling all your plans and you end up wishing that your plans were spoilt a long while ago. I believe in beliefs and superstitions. You and I both know why I got you that ‘Angel carrying a heart’ and irrespective of how you found your love, I wish that there is always a guardian angel looking out for you through out your life, or rather both of your lives, I should say. Sometimes I wonder if there were signs through out, already getting you ready for this big change in your life. I am really really very happy for you and I hope that this year turns out to be a very very eventful year and that you get settled in life, in and forever. I don’t care about being your wedding photographer, honestly. That was just the amateur photographer in me trying to find an excuse to try her hands at portraits. At this juncture, I wish I am at least able to attend the event when it finally happens. Just in case, if I am unable to, I would like to let you know now that my prayers and wishes will be with you both. And there is no doubt about that. Wherever I am, however I am 🙂 And don’t forget to learn to dance, especially now that you have a partner who is good at it and now that we have read how handy it can be(reference: the article that I sent you sometime back). I would love to see you both dance for that ‘special’ song.
Now that we have got that out of the way, there is one thing I wanted to tell you. We know that you keep telling yourself that you are a cold hearted b******d , I wish that you would stop saying it (even though sometimes I feel that you say it because you wanted someone to come to your defense and tell you that you aren’t, yeah, you can be a little narcissistic that way). We all know how caring you are about the people you are with and how you tend to take care of each and everyone’s needs, right from your team to your friends, and make them feel comfortable at all times. You don’t need tears to know that you care. You don’t need grand gestures to show your love. At least not always. It is sometimes the smallest of things, the slightest of reaction that tells a whole lot about a person’s character. I think now is the right time to tell you why I made that video (yeah yeah, the one after Chikmagalur).
In my experience, I have seen that when ‘life’ happens, we tend to forget a lot over a period of time and get so overwhelmed with the day to day activities that we miss out on the small things. Small things that brought two people together, the love, the glow (which could have been due to oxytocin as you fondly point out every time), the smile, the passion. Life does have its ups and downs and we as humans sort of tend to forget the happiness that we experienced during the up’s and dig up the events that can bring in more sadness when we are done. Hey, misery loves company and what better company than the sad events of life. But that is when we need to look back and look at those happy moments to drive away the Dementors. And when I had so many photographs of you both so blissfully happy together, I couldn’t help but give you a piece of that happiness to take away with you for life in the form of a video (and that beautiful and lovely song, which I really really love) to help you remember what it was to be in love during those early stages. How you used to smile when you had that special someone in your arms, dancing away with no care of anyone, blushing just because your friend made some cheesy (and sometimes corny and you know which friend I am talking about) comments. Irrespective of what happens in life, we need to have those happy moments with us. Human memory cannot reminisce all of them when you want them. But a video like that might help. I wished that this video might help bring back some of your happy moments which you could use while wielding your Patrnous charm. Not that you cannot use it as a reason to smile with your loved one, after a hectic day. (Note to all other friends: If you need one video like that, find your partner, fall in love, let’s plan for a tour, let me take the couple portaits and I promise to deliver a video like that with a good song in the background)
We know you care, we know you love, we know you believe, and I can safely vouch for all of your friends that it is 100% reciprocated. You will definitely be missed. It is perfectly OK to be scared when so many changes are happening in life, but remember that you have people you can rely upon, be it your partner, friends, family, colleagues. In fact there are so many you can pick and choose and that is saying something.
Keep smiling that Colgate toothpaste smile of yours, keep blushing, keep taking selfie’s and groupie’s, keep travelling (and let us try to make at least one yearly travel with all friends), keep dancing, keep working out, keep acting drunk even when you aren’t even slightly buzzed, keep enjoying life.
Learn to do your hair properly by yourself, learn to not blurt out each and everything that crosses your mind (install a filter), learn to know when you should stop drinking so that you don’t hurt yourself by puking your guts out, learn to cook a little bit (other than eggs I mean, at least to impress your partner from time to time), learn to let go when your plans or what you thought of your plans don’t actually work out, learn to carry your wallet and to take it back (not leaving it at the restaurants and running back to get it), learn to switch off those damn car lights before your actually switch off the car, learn to hand over the control to your partner from time to time and enjoy the ride.
I know I have said this to you in person, but let me confess here too. (With reference to me treating you like my son, which I actually don’t, but still) If I am given an option to have you as my son, I wouldn’t think twice, even though I am not sure how good a mother I will be. And that is all I am going to say in that matter 🙂 and no, you ain’t getting in on my will even then, so forget about that.
Now coming to the last point about reason , season and life time. I want to believe that you, my friend, were sent to be part of my life, for a reason. Because I need to come out of my own shell and I needed help, you were one of the very few to help me. I hope and wish that this friendship isn’t meant for a season but for a lifetime. Good luck with the move to a new country , to a better life and to a very happy every after and I know its very hard for you what with the long distance now, but please do try and keep in touch.
“Let me make this easier than saying goodbye: let me tell you hello in advance for the next time I get to see you.” – unknown
3 thoughts on “Dear friend,”
Very beautiful post and letter to your friend 😀
Thank you Irene 🙂
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[…] I saw the prompt, I was like ‘ah!!! I just wrote such a big letter to a very close friend, who left us to settle down in another country’. But since that is […]