Driven by emotion

  1. To the guy, who was driving before me very slowly and so far away from the car before him that people stopped for a second to see who it was in the car before they overtook him and to my amusement this guy opened his visor to check in the mirror there if he had something on his face and was trying to settle his hair, dude! it isn’t your face that needs fixing.
  2. I am really very happy that my olfactory senses are shot and I can’t pick up odors most of the times. Especially when you end up being in a lift full of people and they have just come from the sweltering heat outside and are all sweaty.
  3. Coming back to driving, I was tempted to bump into the guy before me (not the same as the guy in the first point, this was a little later) so that my bumper will get attached to his tail gate and I can drive both our cars forward because this guy wasn’t going anywhere even though the road before him was quite empty. It might be that he was just learning to drive, then he should have the L sticker his car, to let the rest know so that we can find ways to overtake him (not that I had an option in this case, but I would not have cursed him to hell) and if he was just taking his time driving, knowing pretty well how to drive, then he is an a$$hole and deserved every one of my curse.
  4. When I heard that my dad’s moped got stolen yesterday, it brought back memories of my first cycle which was also stolen. It wasn’t just stolen, it was removed part by part and they left the unwanted parts strewn around in the backyard (our rental house had a huge backyard and I used to lock my bicycle there). One of those times when I thought my anger would have burned a hole through someone, especially the culprit. That was such a hard earned bicycle (won it after a bet with my dad) and he didn’t even have the courtesy to take it as is. He mutilated it. I hope the thief is rotting in hell.
  5. I think I am in a killer mood today 😯

Dream or Forewarning

Ever since I had that weird almost real dream I am slightly perturbed. I almost have dreams daily, but I never remember them. Sometimes, the only thing I remember is getting up in the middle of the night and wishing that the dream would go away and something nice would come up in my dream, for a change. But there were a few dreams that I remember very well, but they never came too close to reality for my comfort, even though they did represent something at that time. They were just that. Dreams. Except that when I woke up, I remembered them.

I am afraid of heights, but that doesn’t stop me from going to the top of the building to the terrace from where I could see the whole city. I can feel the sweat in my palms and my heart beat increases so much that it is very erratic. But I feel slightly ecstatic too to be up there on the top. And the next thing I remember is falling down head first.

I used to have this one very frequently growing up but I don’t remember when it stopped. I am not suicidal and have never had those kind of thoughts ever (even though my mother will say that I do drive people around me to that extreme once in a while, but again my mother can be a little bit dramatic and sarcastic at times too) Is it because I have been there , done that ? I am referring to the ‘The falling down head first’ thing in a metaphorical manner 🙂 But I am glad that it stopped. Can’t have those kind of dreams at this age.  

This was the time when I was very young and when I had got my bicycle. I am running errand for my mother in my cycle and am coming back from the shop. When I near my street, I see that is blocked. Blocked by HUGE elephants. I say it in caps because for me it looked like they were double their normal size and I wasn’t that tiny even when I was young. Some standing, some lying on the road blocking my way to my home. I am not afraid of elephants. We see them in the temples and in Kerala, its very common to see them even in those small village temples, especially if there is any function going on. I am trying to get past them carrying my bicycle with me, but they don’t seem to give me an inch. I am afraid that if I offend them they will just crush me and I want to protect my cycle too. I keep wondering what to do and try to squeeze through the edge. 

I don’t remember how that dream ended or even why I had that dream in the first place. But that did put me a little apprehensive of the elephants when they are too close. Not afraid, just being cautious. 

Me and my friend are travelling in a bus talking about something and nothing and suddenly when there is a stop and she is trying to get down in that stop. I tell her that it isn’t the right one , but she looks at me and still gets down in that stop. I call out to her that she is doing a mistake and that she should stick with me and get down together where we were supposed to and not quit in between. But she looks at me and walks away. I keep mumbling about how she does this all the time and doesn’t listen and wish that she realizes what she is doing until I get down in my stop.

This one I did go back and relate it to my friend because we were going through a similar problem in life and I thought that her decision wasn’t the right one. And she confirmed it after a few years later. It was so weird to have that dream at that time because I wasn’t even sure where I was going to land in life. Everything for me was still a question and there were no definitive answers and no end to the trouble we were facing. Weirdly, we both ended up in the same place, even though the time and route were different. Apparently, looked like she did catch a much later bus 🙂  

These are the three dreams that I remember quite well, the recent one making it fourth in the list. I don’t know if I believe that dreams mean something, because I have them everyday and I don’t remember them at all. But if that applies only to those that we remember then yeah, may be they do. Are those a kind of forewarning? If that was the case, what does the recent one indicate ? 







Bicycle Memories

The other day, in my yoga class, we were discussing about how it is important to learn to drive at the least a two wheeler  and some ladies there mentioned that they don’t even know how to ride a bicycle in the first place, let alone to try and balance a two wheeler. And some could drive a four wheeler but not a two wheeler. [As a side note, it is always said that riding a bicycle will help us to learn to balance but that has got nothing to do with learning to drive a car. As for a two wheeler , it might probably help but I know one person, my sister, who never managed to learn a cycle but is doing OK with a non-geared two wheeler.] 
That discussion reminded me of some memories during my cycling days. 
I don’t remember how it started, but when I told my dad that I need a cycle to ride, he asked me if I knew how to ride first. When I said that I will learn once he gets me a new one, he set a challenge to me. I should hire a cycle and start learning if I really want to , but I will get my own only if I get a proficiency award in my 4th grade, failing which I would have at least learnt how to cycle as a consolation prize. I don’t know if he did this to just rile me up, but I became too determined to prove him. Prove him what ? I honestly didn’t know, just that I will have to learn it and get my cycle at the end of that school year. 
So I got the cycle for hire and that old man (yes, old man – 🙂 he gets really really angry when I call him that) refused to hold my cycle to help me get my balance. So there I was trying to balance, with my brother trying to snatch it from me so that he can learn and I was doing my best up and down that street. I was still wobbling a lot, and during my return journey from the end of the road, I was going straight towards a vegetable vendor, strike that, I was going in my straight line and a vegetable vendor crossed the road to my side of the road and was coming my way (now, it becomes his fault!!!) I didn’t know what to do, so I kept yelling at him to move, but either he didn’t hear or didn’t bother, and in my panic state, I tried to turn at the last minute and rammed straight at the back of an old man with an umbrella knocking him down and falling down in the process too. Poor old grandpa. He never knew what hit him until he turned back 🙂 I had tears because I was afraid he was gonna scold me. But everyone brushed it as if it is OK to do it while learning, including that vegetable vendor who tsk tsked (Grrrr!!!)  I was saying sorry over and over to the old grandpa and finally got up and pushed my cycle to my house and if I could do some harm to my dad with my look I know I would have made him bald that day (he is a little touchy about his hair).  But then I felt a little better the next day even though I had some bruises in my arm. And yes, I did get my own cycle that school year end along with a best student and proficiency award. 
Now that I had my own, I used to go zipping from here to there and everywhere and my brother was very little at that age, the smallest of all (that total opposite of who he is right now  – a giant). So I used him as my guinea pig to try the doubles. I threatened made him to sit at the back seat and went zooming at the maximum speed in the main roads. While trying to cross the road which goes to our street, I had to cross the main road. I saw a bus coming our way and it was already half way through. But I did some calculations and felt it in my bones that I could cross that road before the bus could get near. I used to do that many times. But I forgot that I had someone else in the back seat and suddenly my pickup speed reduced and there I was almost at the center of the road with the bus screeching to a halt and in my panic I literally stopped the cycle and was looking at the driver with a blank expression, not realizing that my brother had gotten down and had run home crying ‘murder’. I never repeated that stunt ever in my life and ever since that incident I am always careful with my driving , in any type of vehicle, if I have someone with me. I would still do some stunts but strictly when I am alone. 
One day when I was coming back from school at the middle of the day, I was feeling too tired and sleepy. Thankfully the roads were empty. And our street would be mostly empty until the evening. As soon as I entered my street, don’t ask me why, I thought that if I kept the cycle straight and keep pedaling I could even close my eyes for a few seconds to get over that too sleepy feeling and reaching home in the mean time too. Then suddenly I realized my pedaling is not having any effect. So I opened my eyes, and saw that I landed on top of a mound of sand and stones that were kept at the side of the street (they were laying new roads that time). The only fear I had at that time was, if some one had seen me looking like a statue standing on the top of a stone, which would have embarrassed me to no extreme. Thankfully I had opened my eyes to a very empty street and immediately got down from that mound (I still don’t know how I got up there) and cycled with open eyes to my house. 
Ah! those times!
“My two favourite things in life are libraries and bicycles. They both move people forward without wasting anything. The perfect day: riding a bike to the library.” 
― Peter Golkin