I am no good with receiving compliments. Even a small insignificant one embarrasses me. But there is one that always makes my heart fly like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon.
Hey, you look like you have thinned a bit
Yup, that was the line that caused the butterfly-fly-away reaction. I have been going to this Yoga class for a couple of weeks now (I did rant about the pain of doing it) and I know , honestly I do really know, that a couple of week of yoga isn’t going to make me thinner in anyway. But it does feel a little good to hear it. Silly silly heart. One thing that we women, at least as far as I have seen among my friends and myself, do is , we make sure to take every chance we get to talk about health , food and yes, weight. Be it loss of it or gain of it, it is a topic that is a very favorite one among us. Of late, I have seen it becoming a buzz word among men too. My friends, who are male, are slightly freakish about their health and they tend to influence me when I am digressing from my health care. I am digressing now from the topic. So back to it. I tend to put on weight and reduce a teeny tiny bit very randomly. Why, because ( apart from the fact that I am naturally slightly big boned for which I was teased and tormented in my school ), I cannot control my food habits. I don’t eat junk food much, may be once in a while when I am out with friends or my team. But something that I cannot and will not give up is my chocolates and ice creams. I have sweet tooth, so resisting any sweets is sort of huge effort for me, very huge in fact.
There was this time when I went to Las Vegas on my own and I was roaming around the strip. I was very hungry and was wondering where to and what to eat, when my eyes fell on the Ghirardelli shop , if I am not wrong, somewhere near The Venetian and my lunch was decided. I went in, ordered the biggest scoop of ice cream they had, with loads of chocolates, almonds and what not and went and took a seat by the window. When they placed that big ice cream before me, I was in heaven. It was like my body was floating away in some La La Land, with some angels singing and all that chocolate and ice cream was for me to have. I spent around 1.5 hours there enjoying my ice cream and some show that was going on outside. Call me crazy, but I still remember my feeling of exaltation when I was having that ice cream all by myself, no one to criticize me of my choice of lunch, having a wonderful time watching people enjoy themselves in that city and having no care as to the amount of weight/mass or whatever I am adding to my body. Best ice cream and best lunch ever. I don’t get anything relatively sweet like jam or chocolate sauce and keep it at home because I tend to get all cranky suddenly and end up having the whole bottle of jam or choco sauce just like that and that too at night while I am reading my novels.
So yes, I know I can never reduce weight and I keep telling myself that unless I really am willing to have control over my food habits I might not actually reduce to the level I want it to be. The reason I joined yoga was not for weight reduction, even if it is a side effect that I would love to have. I joined because I wanted to increase my strength and stamina. That was my main goal. I have actually controlled my intake of chocos and ice creams and not because I am consciously doing it, it just happened that way. I guess I am in that phase of life when the urge to have them regularly over the week is less but I do have them at least twice a month now. So, even though I keep telling all these things and even if I don’t care about weight reduction (but more concerned about being healthy), any nice word about how much I look thinned out or even a kg reduction in my weight (I haven’t checked it in 6 months now) does make my heart fly like a butterfly and adds a smile to my face. Silly silly heart.