Not too close and yet not too far

Got to let you know how I feel

Hold my hands and walk with me

Not too close that we step on each other

Not too far to look like we are moving away from one another

Not too fast to drag me with you

Not too slow to make me drag you

With enough space to let us breathe

And enjoy the ‘us’ with considerable ease

I don’t know what the heck that is. Is it poetry? or is it prose? I don’t care. It is just an expression.

Yesterday was a pretty interesting day and the above text (let us make it generic) was the outcome of some serious discussions that happened during the lunch with my close friends, where I was telling them how I feel a relationship should be (a marital relationship I mean). What do you think?

 

 

 

Beliefs

Having a discussion about religion with someone you meet for the first time is a little daunting. Because if the other person has a very strong opinion about their belief or non-existence of it, then the whole conversation can become very uncomfortable in a matter of seconds. When I was asked how religious am I , all I did say was ‘I am a believer’. But how much , what extent etc… I didn’t elaborate. And when I asked the other person about it, he said he was agnostic. That according to me is neither here nor there. And I remember a conversation about religious beliefs from a blog post some long time ago, where the discussion sort of turned ugly but most of them were very wary of agnostics rather than the atheists 🙂 I remember the words that I read as (and its paraphrased) ‘You can believe an atheist, because we know that they just don’t believe, but agnostics are like the cat in the wall, they can jump on either side based on where the benefits lie’. And saying something like that to someone you are getting to know is totally an unwise thing, but then I am known to take some risks in life and am curious by nature. So I went ahead and told him about it. He obviously disagreed, albeit in a very gentleman like manner and went on to say what his version of agnosticism meant. It means that they are in search of faith, and once they find it, they would definitely turn into a believer. Until then, their judgement is reserved 🙂 Today, when I am back at my parents place, because both of them got sick and injured within a day this week, I had to take the role of a driver to take my dad to places. He has some problems with his vision and today after a very very long gap, went to a temple and that too because I need to take him for his weekly visits. That is when I remembered the discussion I had with this person about our beliefs. And when I read these lines which is almost equivalent to what this person believed,

The realization of knowing that “we cannot know everything” is the backbone of the agnostic belief.
Christian Zealot: God loves you and everyone. He will save you
Agnostic: Prove it.

Athiest: There is no way that a god can exist.
Agnostic: Prove it.

it definitely brought a smile 😀 What about me? I know what I don’t believe in much better than what I believe in. I believe that the supreme power or the God, will not be able to help us in any small way unless we are not ready to help ourselves.

Lucky Guy

Lunch table conversation:

“One of our family friends had called up recently and while talking to my wife, they asked her , ‘how is your husband?’ and you know what she replied, ‘well, you know, lucky guy.'” – This was an incident that happened to one of our lunch mate as recited by him.
Here are some of the reactions:

Response 1: “Oh!!! she was probably telling the other person that she is such a good wife”
Response 2: “Nah!!! That means that there is nothing to ask about him because I take care of him enough, but you should ask me if he does the same to me or not”
Response 3: “I wish she would say the same line when her mother in law calls up. I would love to see her mother in law’s reaction”

This lunch table has a mix of men and women. Who do you think these responses belong to (man/woman) ?

😀 It was fun because the way that one single statement brought out two different outlook was just too much.

Not your doll

Since my nieces and nephew are here, I get to hear some interesting conversations that happen between them. They have all started to talk well and in complete understandable sentences now. So their communication within one another has improved. Here is one.

My first niece (4+ yrs), say S1, and my nephew (3+ yrs) , say V1, decided to sleep with me.

S1: Hey V1, since I don’t have a doll to hug me while I sleep, you will be my doll today.

V1: NO!!! I am not a doll, I am not your doll. I am V1.

S1: You are V1, but tonight you are my doll. I want to hug my doll while I sleep.

V1: NO, NO NO. I am not your doll.

S1: Please

V1: NO

If I had let it go, they would have been at it for hours. So I had to separate and put them on either side of me to make them sleep peacefully. I chose to be her doll for some time 🙂 But I appreciate my nephew. He adamantly refused to be my nieces’s doll. She almost crushes her dolls while she hugs them during sleep 😉

My nephew fell down in the stairs and his already broken tooth got a little more broken. It was almost 3 – 4 hrs after that incident, because he went to sleep crying from pain.

When he woke up my second niece (2+ yrs), say S2, came to me.

S2: What happened to V1 ?

Me: He fell down and broke his teeth.

S2: Oh!! hey V1, come here. What happened?

V1: (Crying a little) S2 , I fell down and my tooth got broken and it is paining. Please do something.

S2: Oh is it (full strict doctor mode) Show me your teeth, let me see.

V1 shows her his broken teeth.

S2: Hey, its ok da. Not that bad. Everything will be OK soon. Dont worry. Let us play.

Then they both went together and started playing with angry birds kit that my brother got them that day. When did she become the doctor of the house, I have no idea!!!

When everyone were minding their own business, these three kids were playing on their own. S1, being the eldest took the role of mom and the other two decided that they would play the role of her two kids.

S1: Hey kids, can you please keep quiet. Mommy is still preparing dinner. I will appreciate if you can hold it together till then

S2: OK mom, hey V1, food is not ready yet. We can play till then.

V1: OK. Can we play with the car (the only toy he knows to play with)

S1: OK food is ready , come and sit

V1: S2, come come let us sit and eat.

S2 and V1 create a ruckus and S1 gets annoyed and says

S1: Oh my God, can you please be quiet when you eat at least ? I can not keep shouting (she is the one who doesn’t eat well among all the three actually..what an irony)

S2: OK , hey V1, don’t talk now

V1: Hmm..

We couldn’t but help leave our work and silently watch these kids play and repeat what the elders say to them. Oh God.. I am gonna have a fun week I think 🙂

 

Pop goes the balloon

Irony plays a very huge role in our lives isn’t. Today I rush to the training even after a heavy traffic exactly 2 mins before the start and catch hold of a seat at the back (just as I told yesterday) and what happens ? I am as awake as the sun. WTH!!!! I wanted to sleep or feel sleepy but nope and that is definitely not because of the trainer. It was because I was multi tasking with my work in between and concentrated on the specific topics which I could use help with. Well actually the post is not about that. Sorry got digressed a bit here  (am feeling slightly sleepy now) . So yeah, after the fully awake session, came to my yoga class only to be half an hour early. Slowly the other participants started coming in. Usually I am not the conversation starter and that didn’t change even today. This is how it went.

Woman1: (Looking at me) Are you an athlete by any chance ? 

[Background music: ‘clap along if you feel….’ by Pharell William – Happy song , starts to play in my head

Imaginative scene: A Balloon full of happiness being blown ] 

Me: Nope. (out of pure vanity I ask the next thing , I am allowed that once in a while aren’t I ?) Why do you ask ?

Woman1: Your height and your frame, I thought you were an athlete by profession

[Volume of the music in my head increases and so does the balloon’s size]

Me: Ah! Thanks , but no. I am just a software engineer.

Woman1: Me too, (then we find out we are from the same company , different departments, different buildings and we being women, the topic shifts to health)…..I am just waiting to get to 30 (age that is), so that I can do a master health checkup for women with mammogram and other cancer related tests.

Me: Yeah. I have been meaning to , but keep postponing it. 

[Volume of the music slows down because she told me her age as part of that conversation, but still the balloon was blown enough to float happily]

blah…blah …blah (and others arrive)

Guy1: Hey you know what, I finished my first exam in my undergraduation college and tomorrow I have another exam.

Woman2: Wow…college days…they seem so far naa..

Woman3: When did you pass out from college?

Woman2: 2006 yaa.. its been soooo many years…

Woman3: What.. you are that old?? Wow.. I cannot say that looking at you

[Pop goes the Balloon!!!! and the song slowly fades to another one by Asaf Avidan… One day…]

Woman1: Yeah… you look like might be still in college. 

Woman2: Wow..thank you..

(I am already closing my eyes, and trying to tune out everyone by then and since I cannot close my ears physically, I imagine turning it everywhere else other than this discussion…but no such luck..I was never, ever good at meditation and another reason is I don’t want them to look at me by chance and ask me my age, I cannot say that I am waaaaayyyy toooo old for them now after having that happy happy moment now , can I ? sigh )

Instructor arrives, thankfully, and session dismissed and class commenced. 

[I throw away the pieces of the balloon and switch off the music and get back to reality]