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My views on the above and some…
Let me start with this: I don’t believe in love-at-first-sight (except for in the novels,which I absolutely love to read, if written well) and I don’t think work place romance or office romances are good. Recently office romance was something I kept hearing from various sources and that prompted this post. A few weeks back one of my friend told me that he fancied a girl in his office. Even before he could continue, I told him ‘It’s not that I am discouraging you from romance of any sort, but if you ask me, I won’t encourage office / work place romances. If you really want to find that someone, try finding her outside of your work place’. His argument was that since he doesn’t go out much, he could get to know about people in the work place much better and what was wrong with that. Well, nothing wrong with that, unless the people involved are matured enough to handle things in a decent manner if things don’t go that well between them. Also there are lot of policies that you need to adhere to while at work place, which makes it all the more difficult. Honestly, that is a bit too daunting if you ask me.
Let alone romances, I personally don’t feel that a couple should work in the same company. Of course, I have been proved wrong by a lot of couple’s who found each other in my company and have been happily married and are still here (and I have been in this company for more than a decade now, so yeah, I have seen quite a few of them right from their initial stage of romance). Even in my first company, one of my close friend was married and I didn’t know that her husband worked in the same company and in fact in my department, while she was working in another department. I knew about it only because she mentioned him. I would have never guessed it. They hardly saw each other, never acknowledged except for a ‘hi’ , treated each other just like another colleague-from-another-department. When I asked her why she wouldn’t want to hang out with him, she said ‘its more than enough that we have only each other at home, otherwise it would get very boring’. I agree with her on that totally. Imagine looking at a person and being in each other’s space 24/7. I am sure to go mad after a couple of days. I remember Khalil Gibran’s quote
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
I have seen the downside of a couple being in the same organization. In my first company, when it got downsized, they had a policy that they will allow the couple to choose on who is going to remain in the company because they rather retrench from the set of couples instead of keeping both of them in the company and letting go of others so as to be fair. I am not expert on human resource stuff but from a couple’s point of view, just imagine the kind of pressure on them. Also recently, one of the companies has announced that they are closing down their offices completely. If a couple is working there then at a single shot, both of them will be out of work. Its just not easy. Especially if they have kids, loans and other commitments.
So yeah, no office romances, no couple working in the same organization and no love at first sight. Hmm.. I thought I was romantic!
During a recent Friday night out with friends and some acquaintances , my friend was telling them about our Spain trip to other (women actually) and this was the question that came up. (Even before I put the question here is a fyi: We were four friends who went on that tour and among them two were men and two women, including me, and we are no more than friends, strictly)How boring is it to go on such a long trip with 2 people from each gender and who doesn’t have any interest in each other ?
My friend, that idiot, directed that question to me knowing I will groan at such questions. I was like…’what the hell people’. They then modified it a little bit for me.Going on a tour to a out of country and some exotic places with someone not as a couple , where is the fun in that…
Why should everything about a man and a woman be always seen with some pink or rather blue colored glasses. Why can’t friends go together and enjoy. We didn’t plan it so that we will be 2 of each gender each. It just happened that way. I have been on tours with just those guys too and I have been on tours alone also. I have enjoyed all of them and had fun in all the trips. Its more about sharing the joy of the interest that we have in common. Its as simple as that. I am so not going into the discussion whether a man and a woman can be just friends , because I honestly don’t know. All I know is I am a good friend for those people irrespective of their gender or sexuality. And I have been treated as such too. I don’t make friends so easily. It takes years. These people I know , I have known them for almost more than half a decade and some for a decade even.
I have never been anywhere with my ex-husband, so I don’t know what it is like to travel with your partner or someone you are in love with. And yes, I have felt that feeling where I feel like may be I should come to a place with someone I love in future, if that ever happens, especially when you are travelling alone. That is natural. Some places have that kind of effect on you. That doesn’t mean that going with friends makes it any less worthwhile. Especially with friends who know you better. Know when to you leave you alone, when to pester you to come out of your shell, when to make fun of you and when to take you seriously. What is the point in travelling with someone who doesn’t share your interest in places and travel in general. I will take travelling alone or with friends anytime rather than go with such people (and my ex was one such person. I am glad I didn’t get to travel with him ever). Not only these people, I know everywhere we were considered as two couples and it is weird that the hotel reservations, even though we did it in advance, the rooms were given to us as a couple. Funny thing is that the couple got changed in every hotel. They didn’t even ask us who were staying together. They just assumed. We were like ‘whatever !!!’ I know its not easy to break the perception or the mold, but just don’t ask me that question please.
Keeping in sync with my yesterday’s Tuesday Tunes 🙂