I would let go of this dream, for sure.

It has been a very crazy day. Too many things to do and too little time. And getting up after a very crazy dream, I guess it might tend to do you in.

I don’t believe in aliens or zombies. So it was so confusing for me when I woke up the first time at 5.30 am it was because I was dreaming of aliens and I could realize myself thinking (in my dream), ‘what the hell, I don’t even believe in them. so why am I dreaming of them’. Do you ever get that feeling ? It was so crazy. So I wake up, look around a bit and then promptly go back to sleep only to dream something about my mom 🙄 That might be because we were talking about her yesterday and I was confused as to what kind of gift to buy for her. It is always difficult choice when it concerns her. If she doesn’t like it, she would not hesitate to give me an earful for ‘wasting’ my money. And then I woke up at 7.30 am. My plans to get up early gone for a toss.

I do get dreams almost daily, but I never remember them. Only on odd days like today I remember a little bit of it especially when I wake up wondering what the hell I dreamt about. At least I stopped having dreams about animals. Now those were some weird dreams.

Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses – Finale

I wasn’t sure how many posts I would publish with respect to this series ‘Sandy Toes and Salty Kisses‘. I have exhausted all the beaches for which I had the digital photographs and there were totally 9 of them. Today being the end of this month, I thought of completing this series with a final post. I always had a thing for nature. When I first went to Ooty (or rather a small village in the hills) to stay with my friend in her tea estate for a couple of days, I fell in love with the mountains and calm and serene environment. I live in a land locked city. And the only region other than plains I have been to is the hills. I wished to live in a such a place if the opportunity arises.

And then when we visited the beaches, I loved the water too. I liked how the waves sounded when they crashed at the rocks or the gentle way they would caress your feet. I love it when it slightly rains while I am at the beach, something like the circle of water being complete at that time and the way the sea looks a little scary with the dark clouds closing in. A balance of the calm and the commotion. (Yeah, I am sort of obsessed with the theme of balance I think). I wondered if I had a choice where would I choose to live, will it be the huge and mighty mountains or close to the deep and intriguing sea (or any water body) ? Of course, I never got that choice, but it is better to be prepared right (did I tell you I was 50+% optimistic?). I have my answer now after all these years. I would choose water.

I am scared of it, combine it with the fact that I can’t swim, it is not a nice prospect. In fact, when we visited Ganges, my father and mother both had to hold me and push me into the water to complete my rituals. Really, they did push me into the water literally, I thought they were getting rid of their sins, but guess I was wrong (or was I ?). We have many ponds at temples in Kerala and every time we go there we are expected to take bath. But I am scared of those fishes biting my skin and I am a little shy to take bath in the open spaces. So I would always skip that ritual (even ready to incur the wrath of God, if it comes to that) and have never done it till now. So given all that, all I ever do is dip my leg in the water and sit and watch the waves. Watch people enjoy. When we were in Goa, the guys had such a blast and it was fun watching them enjoy it. There were so many kids who were so ecstatic in water. Seeing all those gives me so much happiness and joy. My sister is so fond of water. Doesn’t matter that she doesn’t know how to swim, she sees the sea, she has to get inside it.

If I am near the sea, you can see me like this (except that I will be looking out at the sea) contemplating all things or sometimes just thinking nothing

or enjoying this small girls wonder

or smiling at this dog’s enthusiasm and strength to try and invade the ocean to get what he wants

even enjoying the rise and fall of the people who try till the very end their hand at conquering the waves (this was my friend’s attempt at kayaking. They almost reached the shore waving their victory when a huge wave decided to humble them 🙂 )

Yes, my choice is decided. I would choose the sea side to live my ever after, how ever long it might be. But will it happen ? I don’t know.  But will I dream of it? Yes.

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― Langston Hughes

I dream of lying on the sand with the sky growing dark and the moon shining high and bright , the waves creating a symphony in the background and my mind emptied of all thoughts except for enjoying that moment of nature and calm and ecstasy. This image would be my patronus. 

I would like to end this series with this poem.

The tide rises, the tide falls,

The twilight darkens, the curlew calls;

Along the sea-sands damp and brown

The traveller hastens toward the town,

      And the tide rises, the tide falls.

 

Darkness settles on roofs and walls,

But the sea, the sea in the darkness calls;

The little waves, with their soft, white hands,

Efface the footprints in the sands,

      And the tide rises, the tide falls.

 

The morning breaks; the steeds in their stalls

Stamp and neigh, as the hostler calls;

The day returns, but nevermore

Returns the traveller to the shore,

      And the tide rises, the tide falls. – HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Dream or Forewarning

Ever since I had that weird almost real dream I am slightly perturbed. I almost have dreams daily, but I never remember them. Sometimes, the only thing I remember is getting up in the middle of the night and wishing that the dream would go away and something nice would come up in my dream, for a change. But there were a few dreams that I remember very well, but they never came too close to reality for my comfort, even though they did represent something at that time. They were just that. Dreams. Except that when I woke up, I remembered them.

I am afraid of heights, but that doesn’t stop me from going to the top of the building to the terrace from where I could see the whole city. I can feel the sweat in my palms and my heart beat increases so much that it is very erratic. But I feel slightly ecstatic too to be up there on the top. And the next thing I remember is falling down head first.

I used to have this one very frequently growing up but I don’t remember when it stopped. I am not suicidal and have never had those kind of thoughts ever (even though my mother will say that I do drive people around me to that extreme once in a while, but again my mother can be a little bit dramatic and sarcastic at times too) Is it because I have been there , done that ? I am referring to the ‘The falling down head first’ thing in a metaphorical manner 🙂 But I am glad that it stopped. Can’t have those kind of dreams at this age.  

This was the time when I was very young and when I had got my bicycle. I am running errand for my mother in my cycle and am coming back from the shop. When I near my street, I see that is blocked. Blocked by HUGE elephants. I say it in caps because for me it looked like they were double their normal size and I wasn’t that tiny even when I was young. Some standing, some lying on the road blocking my way to my home. I am not afraid of elephants. We see them in the temples and in Kerala, its very common to see them even in those small village temples, especially if there is any function going on. I am trying to get past them carrying my bicycle with me, but they don’t seem to give me an inch. I am afraid that if I offend them they will just crush me and I want to protect my cycle too. I keep wondering what to do and try to squeeze through the edge. 

I don’t remember how that dream ended or even why I had that dream in the first place. But that did put me a little apprehensive of the elephants when they are too close. Not afraid, just being cautious. 

Me and my friend are travelling in a bus talking about something and nothing and suddenly when there is a stop and she is trying to get down in that stop. I tell her that it isn’t the right one , but she looks at me and still gets down in that stop. I call out to her that she is doing a mistake and that she should stick with me and get down together where we were supposed to and not quit in between. But she looks at me and walks away. I keep mumbling about how she does this all the time and doesn’t listen and wish that she realizes what she is doing until I get down in my stop.

This one I did go back and relate it to my friend because we were going through a similar problem in life and I thought that her decision wasn’t the right one. And she confirmed it after a few years later. It was so weird to have that dream at that time because I wasn’t even sure where I was going to land in life. Everything for me was still a question and there were no definitive answers and no end to the trouble we were facing. Weirdly, we both ended up in the same place, even though the time and route were different. Apparently, looked like she did catch a much later bus 🙂  

These are the three dreams that I remember quite well, the recent one making it fourth in the list. I don’t know if I believe that dreams mean something, because I have them everyday and I don’t remember them at all. But if that applies only to those that we remember then yeah, may be they do. Are those a kind of forewarning? If that was the case, what does the recent one indicate ?