In the end…

I am currently reading the book ‘Career of Evil’ (Coromoran Strike 3 ) and there was this scene where Strike is contemplating about death. It is actually a scene where in some folks celebrate the death of a fellow friend in a way they deem fit for him. They drink, they sing a song which talks about their school days etc. Here in my place, when someone dies, they take a procession with song, dance etc…to the crematorium. I used to wonder why this big fan fare? But now, I think its not about the death, its more about celebrating a life that was well lived.

It did not make me melancholic or anything, but reminded me of a poem I love and have mentioned the same quite a few times in this blog. It’s written by Kamala Das. Here it is again, for all the new readers.

When I die
Do not throw the meat and bones away
But pile them up
And let them tell
By their smell
What life was worth
On this earth
What love was worth

It might seem very dark, but for some reason this has been my favorite poem since college. Something about the way the death wish is conveyed in a very crude , cruel and yet very honest way made me remember these lines for all these years. I got to read another one of hers recently, which is totally on the other side of the previous one. I like this one too. I guess based on my mood, I might select one or the other to recite 🙂

I cannot fold
my wayward limbs to crawl into
coffins of religions.
I shall die, I know,
but only when I tire of love;
tire of life and laughter.
Then fling me into a pit
six feet by two,
do not bother to leave
any epitaph for me.

Right now, my mood is leaning towards the second one.

This got me thinking. In our religion, we cremate the bodies. I wish mine to be done in a electric crematorium and done within a few seconds. I don’t care where my ashes go. Can human ashes be good fertilizers ? Apart from how my body transforms, as a soul, how do I want to be known when I leave this world in search of a better place? Do I want to be known at all? I wouldn’t be honest if I said ‘No’. I do want to be known. I do want to be remembered. But not because I did something good, not because I did something effective…simply put, not because of something I did, but because of who I was. All I wish for is a single smile when my soul flies, acknowledging a soul who loved and was loved and wishing me good luck on my next journey.

“This is the end of the world”

Categorized :  “random thoughts and probably incoherent” 

I saw a line in the book I am currently reading “‘This is the end of the world’, it seemed to say”. It sparked a thought. Not the 2012 movie kind of end of the world where everything is destroyed and only a few people get to live to create another new world. No, no, not that. This is the the line which says this is where the path ends. Do we really have a point or a line which screams ‘this is the line which marks the end of this world?’. Probably not, because well, ours is a circle. And a circle has no ends. There is a quote also saying that ‘A circle is the reflection of eternity, with no beginning and no end ….’ something like that. But that is going a little too philosophical to my current stream of thoughts. So let me not go there now. Where was I ? Oh yeah. So, no, we physically don’t have an marking line. We might say that this is where this city ends, and the next city starts. This is where this continent ends and this continent starts. Do we have those for the water too ? I think we have right ? Some are international waters and some are national. Need to check out how they do that.

But those are not the ends. They are just the boundaries. A boundary is not an end. It signifies a limit isn’t. Boundaries have been stretched all through the history have they not ? That is why we have wars still going on. To merge, to split. But if we take our world as such, we are again a part of a bigger world isn’t. A part of a system called Milky way galaxy. We just have a hard boundary. We cannot grow or stretch than what we are right now, but still it isn’t the end isn’t. Or is it ? They thought that the milky way itself was a huge thing and then they discovered that there are other galaxies floating (?) around. This reminds me of an article that my friend pinged me recently. It was about something called Supercluster. Hey, I have heard that before. We know of it in computing terms of a database that has super-cluster configuration. But this wasn’t that. This was about the cluster of galaxies. When I read about it, you know what I felt. I felt depressed, even if a little. Because in the large (and it gets even larger after that article) scheme of things. I am not even a speck of dust, for gods sake. What am I really doing then ? The more we look outward the more the vastness of the things makes us look very tiny and small. Is that why people keep looking inwards ? into themselves ? Because at least understanding themselves now seems a little much easier than the outer vastness which brings up new mysteries every time ? And why does all these end up being circular or elliptical. Oh my! Did I go back to the quote and prove that a circle is indeed a reflection of eternity ?