It has been too long since I have done this and I am not so sure of myself now. Do I want to do this now? Am I right in pursuing this ? What if I got turned down or rather I embarrass myself in the process. Who knew a self imposed too-long hiatus is going to cause so much anxiety when I have to do it again!? Just thinking about it is giving me goosebumps and is that my heartbeat that I hear sounding like a speeding bullet train? My hands are so cold and numb now. I know the mechanics of how this happens, but it isn’t the same anymore. I feel like I have forgotten how. This sucks. But I have a feeling that this time it will be different. Is it because I am more experienced? Or is it because I don’t have anything to lose? No idea, but all I know is I want this for sure. If only I can take this at the face value and not get too involved and expect so much out of it. I am trying, trust me, trying very hard to not panic and spoil it. I hope I don’t say anything inappropriate as I always do in a very importune moment. But the sparks of thoughts that keep exploding in my mind – I am not able to control them. So I leave them be and try the relax using my breath. I come back to the now and here when I hear the other person say ‘Lets start this interview with the basic question, now shall we? Tell me something about yourself.’
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