In the end

For this week’s song lyric Sunday, I am going to go with a rock song of Linkin Park. I am not a huge fan of rock genre, but from time to time I do like a song or an album. And one of my favorite bands is Linkin Park. I love this song for its lyrics. I cannot sing the rap part of it but I appreciate the words.

Lyrics from A-Z Lyrics.

“In The End“

It starts with
One thing I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
I wasted it all just to watch you goI kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when…

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when…

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

Posting it for this week’s Song Lyric Sunday.

In the end…

I am currently reading the book ‘Career of Evil’ (Coromoran Strike 3 ) and there was this scene where Strike is contemplating about death. It is actually a scene where in some folks celebrate the death of a fellow friend in a way they deem fit for him. They drink, they sing a song which talks about their school days etc. Here in my place, when someone dies, they take a procession with song, dance etc…to the crematorium. I used to wonder why this big fan fare? But now, I think its not about the death, its more about celebrating a life that was well lived.

It did not make me melancholic or anything, but reminded me of a poem I love and have mentioned the same quite a few times in this blog. It’s written by Kamala Das. Here it is again, for all the new readers.

When I die
Do not throw the meat and bones away
But pile them up
And let them tell
By their smell
What life was worth
On this earth
What love was worth

It might seem very dark, but for some reason this has been my favorite poem since college. Something about the way the death wish is conveyed in a very crude , cruel and yet very honest way made me remember these lines for all these years. I got to read another one of hers recently, which is totally on the other side of the previous one. I like this one too. I guess based on my mood, I might select one or the other to recite 🙂

I cannot fold
my wayward limbs to crawl into
coffins of religions.
I shall die, I know,
but only when I tire of love;
tire of life and laughter.
Then fling me into a pit
six feet by two,
do not bother to leave
any epitaph for me.

Right now, my mood is leaning towards the second one.

This got me thinking. In our religion, we cremate the bodies. I wish mine to be done in a electric crematorium and done within a few seconds. I don’t care where my ashes go. Can human ashes be good fertilizers ? Apart from how my body transforms, as a soul, how do I want to be known when I leave this world in search of a better place? Do I want to be known at all? I wouldn’t be honest if I said ‘No’. I do want to be known. I do want to be remembered. But not because I did something good, not because I did something effective…simply put, not because of something I did, but because of who I was. All I wish for is a single smile when my soul flies, acknowledging a soul who loved and was loved and wishing me good luck on my next journey.

In the end…..

Since I was coming to visit my parents (and my brother, since they live together) I had some apps for the kids downloaded in my iPad (the first thing they ask me when I land is ‘athai…where is your iPad’). I love telling stories to them, of course, I do tell them the ones I know of. I cannot make up stories ever. So I downloaded some Disney story telling stuff, where they have this Toy Story, Tangled and a few more free ones. I have the technology so why not use it to tell them the stories using pictures and all.

I love the movie Tangled and that always scores high than the Toy Story (very obvious 😉 ). But one thing eluded me… In that story process, they kept everything almost the same (sans the love angle). But they did show this.

But at the end, the poor guy got left behind

In the whole story Rapunzel (even the iPad app one) goes along with the guy and in the end they left him wondering what he did that he got left out of that final hug. I know that it was for the kids, but then what was the point of the previous scene ? My niece asked ‘why he was standing alone looking all sad  ? ‘ At least they could have made him look happier or smiling (that guy had a good smile in the movie 😉 )…

I remembered these lines from Linkin Park’s song ‘In the End’ when I saw the last scene 😉

“I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter”