All the chaos

This post talks about what happened with the move professionally and where I am now. It might come across as a rant and you might have guessed that things didn’t go as planned.

Accepting a job remotely just based on lots of interviews and solving question papers without having a first-hand experience of the place and the audience might have been a bad shout on my side. But hey, it takes two to tango. There was an element of trust that was involved. People who hired me as a teaching faculty for their school believed me to do my job and do it well and they did offer a very good package. And I trusted them to keep up to their word on what they said my roles and responsibilities were and how my growth would be. They needed a commitment of 2 years which I was willing to provide because this was part of a growing school (international syllabus) and I was happy to be part of that journey. This made us change our plans of relocating towards the end of 2022 and we made our move much ahead of our scheduled time.

In India, the school academic year starts in June. I got an email from the school that they had teacher inset days/training days planned in May so they were expecting me by the 2nd week of May if I was available by then. They also told me of their management decision to additional responsibilities to my role. I was to be a year 6 class teacher along with being an ICT faculty for GCSE and A levels and maybe do some maths. I have already done these combinations (apart from the class teacher) in my school in London and I know how to manage my work so I said yes to it. When I landed in India, there was a training schedule sent around which was for three-plus weeks, 6 days a week training for all teachers. WTH! Why would we need almost 22 days of training to start a year? and 6 days a week at that? Wouldn’t the teacher be exhausted even before they start the school year? For the first week, I went for half a day (as I still was setting up house and had so much other stuff to do having landed only 2 weeks by then). It definitely gave an insight into the school and their philosophy. They are huge into mindfulness and are very child-focused which is a good thing and which is what I expected. To be honest, all schools should have that as part of their day-to-day functioning and most actually do. They just do it in different ways and honestly, some schools just don’t bother with it. We as teachers did a lot of art, music, movements etc. etc. which was good for team bonding and may be getting some ideas for primary and kindergarten but I wasn’t very sure why I would do this instead of my planning for higher secondary and year 6.

Even on the first day, there was some confusion as to which part of the school I belonged to, middle school (because I am not a year 6 class teacher) or upper school (GCSE and A level teacher). I was classified as a middle school teacher by the coordinator. That was a warning bell for me. Because my primary role was for upper school and additional responsibilities were for middle school, here I am roped into learning activities for my year 6 students. And also as the training days went by and the roles and responsibilities were discussed I realised that the class teacher role goes above and beyond the school. I have to be with them *all* the time and do evening special sessions, night schools, trips, home visits (that was a strict no for me) etc. It involved a lot more than what is done within the framework of the school. I wasn’t comfortable with some of them because of the travel time. Ironically, when they told me that my travel and food will be recompensated, it wasn’t explained how. They provided food and snacks (which were great!) but the travel was a sticky point as there was no pick up from my place which was furthest (almost an hour from the school). In order to get to the school, I had to travel half an hour from my place, leave my vehicle with someone, then board the school bus and do the same in the evening. Except in the evening because of the traffic, by the time we reach the last bus stop it is already two hours into the journey. I felt that if I was given the money instead of just the bus available I could have got my own vehicle and done the hour-long travel myself. But that wasn’t an option.

Apart from all the responsibilities, they also added teaching science to my list which wasn’t discussed with me. I got to know when the timetable was published. Now my days were too full to have any time to think or take a breath. This didn’t sound very healthy both for my mental and physical sanity. When the second week of training rolled by, I decided to discuss this with the concerned folks (there was confusion about whom I should be talking to… middle school coordinator or upper school coordinator… ) but they kind of brushed me saying that between the move to India and setting up house and new job I am getting stressed out unnecessarily and once I am all sorted it would be a walk in the park and that I would have support from the management to help me out. It felt like they were making this my problem rather than a mistake in their management decision. No other middle school teacher was handling any other upper school subjects so there was a clear distinction of roles and responsibilities. I was the only one who got shunted between the two sections of the schools. When I went back to them after a few days of thinking about it, they were ready to take me off the GCSE ICT teaching responsibilities and get me to do that later in the term. I was shocked to hear that because that was why they hired me in the first place. But it looked like their priorities changed when they were doing their management planning in April. Now they wanted someone to be a year 6 class teacher and since I was already hired they decided that I would be able to do it and they decided that I would be ok with it.

To say I was livid is an understatement. I don’t like being taken for granted like this and in a way abusing my trust in them. The other issue that got on my nerves was that they did not have any IT lab at all and were in the process of setting it up. Two years of online teaching and teaching by part-time staff for ICT didn’t prepare them for in-person ICT teaching. That is bad management that is, given that they introduced ICT because of popular demand from students. As a school, their philosophy is to have as much less tech in school as possible which didn’t bode well for my subject now. They were also adding training sessions on an ad-hoc basis thereby wanting me to attend a training tailored to their philosophy for a whole week including the weekends after which we were supposed to attend a school retreat. There was literally a 1-day break between three weeks. I don’t know how the other teachers do it, but I was exhausted just after a week. All the training that they had could have been done in 1 week and let the teachers do their individual planning. But they spread the training for two hours per day over 6 days and the new teachers had to do more training over the weekends. This is totally uncalled for. It looked like they didn’t give any thought to the work-life balance of the teachers especially when the school hadn’t even started yet. I had a good long discussion with Mr M about how I felt and then Mr M suggested that I think twice before continuing because when the students come in then it would be very hard for me to leave the school. It would be unfair on the students especially year 6 ones as it might be difficult to hire a new teacher by then and I might be stuck in a very unhappy job.

When my concerns went to deaf ears again, I decided to ditch the week-long training and sent a very long email to the person who hired me and also the founder of the school highlighting my concerns and my decision to leave the school. I had refrained my signing the contract when it was given to me the first week. The package was very good, the school was in a very lovely place, and the physical environment was very good too, but there was an underlying current of slight dissatisfaction and when I spoke to the other teachers, not all were happy about what’s going on, but they were happy to continue. I wasn’t. The management accepted my resignation not because of any other concerns that I had put forward but because of my travel time. That was typical and made me laugh because that was the only thing on the list that wasn’t their problem. It was my personal decision to travel that far off even though it wasn’t sustainable in the long term and I was willing to do it if the school and my work were good.

So after three weeks of training and a week, before the students were about to start their academic year, I left the school and was back in the market looking for options. Given that most schools already had done their recruitment for the current academic year, I was left with no other option other than to take a break and try for alternatives. Finally, after a month of job-hunt, I have landed a part-time teaching job so I am set for this year at least, but this experience has taught me to be careful and not trust everyone at face value especially when it comes to career changes. I have never had a career break ever since I started working many moons ago but this one-month of break (forced) was a much-needed one especially, after the move and setting up the house. All this might have been a blessing in disguise but that one month of balancing everything else (getting the move sorted, house sorted) the chaos of the job was, in hindsight, something that could have been avoided. At least I have learned my lesson and made a few friends in the process.

Excuses, Excuses

“If only I had more time on my hand”. I have lost count of how many times I have used that excuse last week for not doing something that had to be done but didn’t end up doing it because I got my priorities mixed up and did something else instead. I hope that I don’t end up burning midnight oil at work, just because I was bored of the project and was slacking because I didn’t feel like working on it. Thank God I am an individual contributor and I still have quite some time left on my hands to get things done. I might have to stop that binge watching I have been doing on a regular basis (I finished Jesse Stone last week and also the new season of Endeavor) and get my work done instead. Well, I am off to work then.


Post for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “if/then.” Begin your post with the word “If.” For bonus points, end your post with a phrase containing the word “then.” Enjoy!

 

 

SoCS Badge by HopeFloats@ My Leaky Boat

The hand that rocks…

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Cannot Rock the Boardroom 

I came across this session / debate in iqsquared. I had my doubts on this video when I started watching it, but it actually went well 🙂 and had a surprising twist in the end, especially a question that came up from a view at around 30 minute time frame if I am not wrong. Because that was the question that crept in my mind when they were laying down their points against the motion.

Since they had women on both sides to talk about for and against, it was nice to see how they pit themselves against each other. In fact all of them are well settled and surprisingly women of my age (at least 2 of the 4 are from whey they proclaimed). Why does that matter? Because, for me, I could relate with them a little at least from what I see, what I hear and what I go through. Sadly, I am not a mother yet, but I don’t have to be one to know how it feels. I have seen my colleagues, my friends, my family go through it enough to know where I stand.

It is not that the hand that rocks the cradle cannot rock the boardroom. They can, if they have the determination, the support (from family, from workplace, even from the society) and it does help to have enough money too to help you out. If they do rock both together what will be consequences on both parts of their lives ? How does it actually affect your family and your work. Are you able to give only 60% to your work if you more involved with family ? Or does your family suffer because you give your 90% to work ? Where is the balance ? Or rather what is the balancing formula ? I don’t think there ever is one. Just like everything else, the balance varies from person to person depending on where they are, what work they do, their upbringing, their individuality. What works on one person doesn’t necessarily have to work for the other.

In my work, recently I have had women in top positions taking sabbatical for a year or two because they felt the need to reconnect with their family which they feel that they have ignored. Some women have stepped down from the management position because they felt that they couldnt manage both and do justice to both of them well enough. That doesn’t mean they are not capable, they just wanted to get their priorities right. Some of my friends and colleagues work too hard to manage both that we do have separate what-the-hell-am-i-doing-here sessions to just vent out the anger on co-workers, husbands, fathers, managers , who ever can be blamed for it 🙂 I know women who are my friends, trying to struggle to manage their kids and the work without any external help , none whatsoever but then I also know women , again my friends, who are able to do it with their family support.

I have refrained from choosing the management side of my work because I know what it entails and I know what I want in life. I had a strict 9-6 working hours but now that has changed because I could do flexible working hours. My organization allows it to a large extent unless you are in support or in operations which then gets tricky. And I know I am not a manager material. I simply am not (irrespective of how many women leadership sessions they keep scheduling in my organization and I always skip them). I love my life outside of work too. I love to spend time reading, cooking whatever I can, or just lazing around. I don’t want my life to focus mainly on my work. That is why I don’t have a career even after 15 years of working. I still have a job. I am OK with it. That works for me and my sanity and I find peace. But when a kid is involved, I almost inevitability give more attention to them. That is why my productivity goes down when I visit my brother or sister. Because those kids seem to be always around me and I can’t help but give my maximum attention to them.

What I feel is , yes the hand that rock the cradle can rock the boardroom, provided they have the support system in place for that, which is not the case at least in my place and as far as I know. It takes a lot of compromises and sacrifices, but how much of them are really worth it ? There in lies the decision. And last but not the least the passion and determination to really do it.