(Not so) Funny mails

One day, at work, I found a mail with this Subject,

SHOCK! (yeah all capital letters type of shock) was what I felt. I was like What!!!!? especially when you are very busy with something and you see that the love of your life is waiting in your inbox… I guess, I will keep the love of my life waiting for  some more time until I really decide on what I am gonna do about it. (I keep unsubscribing to that site and still the mails keep coming on!!!)

And one specific day when I was really down and was wondering what I am gonna do, pop comes this mail !

I really did a double take and looked around to see if anyone was joking with me. It couldn’t be more appropriate. I was wondering what in the hell was happening that I am getting such mails with specific subject that really are so appropriate that they border on scary.

Not to mention this one, where I wasn’t sure what to do. I just laughed out aloud. Obviously, I did not click on any of the links. But still. A premonition. Really ?

I wonder why these mails don’t get ‘Spammed’ but the other useful ones does.

Dear Spammer

Dear Spammer,

I am sorry I missed your comments in the Spam folder for so long. I didn’t know that I had more comments in them than my actual Pending folder. I knew what would be there and it never made sense, but this time I was in for a surprise.

There were 78 comments in my Spam folder and it took quite some time to check them out. Out of them almost 60 (yeah, yeah, I counted) were about diamonds. Actually buying diamonds. Now I know for sure you must be a man disguised as a spam bot. So let us get some things very straight. I think you got the very wrong blog. I am a woman. And a woman would have to be out of her mind to go and buy that big rock out of her own money. Why would they? I know my friends try to get one for their birthday’s or Wedding Anniversaries, while they got their husbands a good watch (the same old , same old). And I don’t count, because I don’t like jewellery in general. And I sort have an aversion to diamonds. May be if it is something in copper, you could possibly and remotely try to interest me into it. But otherwise, I am not interested. Seriously. I ain’t joking. Who jokes about Diamonds ?

Among the rest, most of them were about second hand cars. I know I write about driving and how rash and yet sensible I am (hey! I haven’t hit anyone so far, touch wood, even though there have been some near misses). But you see, I write about them because I have a car already. I don’t need another one, especially a second hand car. The one I have is already sort of a second hand one, except that I took it from my father (and so that doesn’t officially count). So I wouldn’t be interested in cars either, especially when I don’t have a bigger parking space now.

I know there were a couple or more odd ones and it looked like it came from some genuine people, except that they weren’t. Technically, I know the spam emails don’t really make any sense, that is why they are spam right?  So I was a little surprised when it was all about diamonds and second car sales. You really made my Sunday a fun day.  I am glad to have that reprieve from the usual mundane things I do every Sunday (like laze around reading my book, or try and think of something simple to cook , or to decide if I really have to clean my wardrobe etc etc… you know the usual Sunday thing) And yeah! keep spamming, but please try to keep it interesting and a little bit relevant.

Cheers,

KG