I agree to most of the points…and I know for sure that I have trouble with my meditation, even though it is much better now and I am much better at multitasking than my male friends. Emotional??? Of course! But a box of nothing ? I leave that to the men to confirm it. So far, I have got only one confirmation from my guy saying ‘yes, we do have a box of nothing’. Am wondering what the rest of the men folk think 😉 ?
Recently when I was discussing with someone about talking to my mom about an issue, I told them that I am never sure how she would react to something I tell her. In my experience, I have always seen that when I expect her to be all shocked and flabbergasted in turn leading me to some slight high pressure moments, she goes like ‘hmmm…’ and then nothing… and then my pressure drops suddenly. That is never good. And then when I expect her to be accepting, she becomes all cranky and reacts as if I have gone back in time and have meddled with the events and hence meddled with the future too…as if the whole evolution is my fault. That is when I go on a ‘WTH just happened’ mode and I can never find a way out of it.
During that discussion, I found out one thing. I am not sure if that is true, but I know that I have been there once and I will never forget that moment. So probably this is what goes through my mom’s mind too and why she reacts that way. Are you ready ? OK…here it goes.
Let’s take an example. I was pretty sure, she was gonna go ballistic on me when I tell her that I got a tattoo done. So, I start with ‘hey mom…you know what… I have been meaning to tell you this for a long time now..but never found out the right time….I know it was a risky thing to do but then…’ pause for some effect. Now as soon as I open the line… ‘I have been meaning’….my mom’s mind creates a whole mind map thing and creates if’s and what if’s and what I might have done…and it invariably goes to the worse case scenario and she starts to think, what has she done now…is it related to her life, has she done something again that will harm her, what am I supposed to do, why is she like this ? etc etc etc…and after a few nano seconds where she has all the worse possible things I could tell her, she is now waiting for me to choose the worst from them.
And she is already planning arguments, counter arguments or ways to accept in her own way…and by the time I am there to tell her about the tattoo…she has got a spectrum of bad things I can tell her to the worst things I can tell her.
Now if what I tell her falls in the lesser than bad point of the spectrum, then she goes with ‘hmmm…its not a big deal’ ( and in her mind she thinks…at least it is not as bad as I thought…Good Lord! and has a mental phew! moment) but if it falls on the other end of it , that is worse than the worst of her spectrum, she goes ballistic. Because she hasn’t mentally prepared herself for it even a teeny tiny bit. And if it is within the spectrum, she is ready for the battle with her arguments all mapped out.
So with my tattoo…I guess it was on the lowest scale of her spectrum and she just went….’you are nuts!’ and left it there and never spoke of it again.
I am sure, this may not make much sense…but it could a possible scenario to consider isn’t , especially when you are trying to figure out people and their reactions 😉 ?
Do you want a chocolate ? Bournville ?
Yes I do
(gets the chocolate bar and realizes something is wrong with it…its too soft)
Hey… that’s cheating…it’s not a chocolate…does it have paper inside ? (after verifying the wrapper) how did you stick it back? It does look like brand new, unless I touch it.
That is something I am working on. How to get the size and the shape of the chocolate using a paper or a cardboard perfectly.
I can give it to others and see how they react when they open it.
That’s cheating!!! Why don’t you at least put wafers inside it so that at least they will end up getting something out of it!
In that case they will be disappointed more than cheated.
Don’t you think that would be a better option?
May be for you, I prefer to do the latter.
That was the conversation between me and my friend that triggered the post ‘What would be your option?‘
Pretty pathetic isn’t. All of that for a chocolate. But I realized after talking to him about other such situations, that I don’t like cheating. Not that I haven’t done it (not in matters that really mattered at least) but if I had the option to either cheat or disappoint someone, I rather disappoint them. Because if they know me, they would understand, and I don’t care for people who don’t know / understand me to know why I prefer that way. And cheating involves lies, which is very difficult to keep up. I know I will definitely slip up one way or the other…so why bother!
Thank you so much to all those who responded for that post. And sorry for the delay in the update because work caught up with me.
On another note, I got this cool USB based light for when I have to work at nights at my laptop. Its called Astro Boy! Its so cute and cool. Check it out.